Home Better Sex Why Can’t I Cum? Advice for Men and Women

Why Can’t I Cum? Advice for Men and Women

Sex is exciting, and the climax point of sex is nothing but breathtaking. Cumming is top tier, and we doubt there is an experience that comes close. An orgasm is the main destination of sex, and the bad news is not all people reach it. In this article, we will be talking about why you can’t cum during sex or masturbation, and we are going to help you cum more than twice. If you want to experience the sex peak, then you need to read this article.

Failing to Cum

Failing to cum is a medical condition that is mainly referred to as delayed ejaculation, some scholars refer to it as impaired ejaculation. The condition results in males and females failing to reach sexual climax after sexual stimulation. It can be quite a big problem, especially for married couples. Now that we know what it is, let us get to the nitty-gritty of the condition and help you deal with it.

Is It Normal Not to Cum?

Well, if you are struggling to cum during sex, the biggest question you might have might be whether it is normal to be experiencing delayed or impaired ejaculation. The question is a bit complicated. The first part you have to understand is that it is completely normal to fail to cum in the course of your life. If the problem persists, though, it becomes abnormal. If you experience delayed ejaculation once in a couple of years, then it is not a big problem. If it becomes a regular occurrence, then you have a problem, and you have to try and get it fixed. If you do not fix it, it might end up affecting your sex life and eventually your mental well-being. It is quite a big issue, and the next question you will be asking is what causes it. We have the answer.

Why Can’t I Cum

There are several reasons why some people fail to cum. The range of reasons that cause people not to cum is quite extensive, and they differ from gender to gender. We will be looking at the cause of delayed ejaculation or delayed orgasm on both women and men to see how best they can be solved.

Why Can’t I Cum: Women

The issue of failing to cum mostly affects women, and if there is an area that women complain mostly about, it is this area. The biggest blame, though, is usually cast on the partner. Most women tend to think that if they can’t cum, then it’s their partner that is failing to make them cum. That is rarely the case, though, and we will be telling you the main reason why the sex peaks aren’t coming your way.

Mental Health Conditions

Sex is as much mental as it is physical. If your mental health is not in the right condition, orgasms might be one thing you will never get. People who are suffering from depression and sexual anxiety tend to struggle with climaxing. The worst part is they might not even know it’s their fault. Shyness and low self-esteem all fall in this category, and the effects on the body’s orgasms mechanism are quite intense. The worst part about failing to orgasm due to faltering mental health is that the burden of failing to orgasm can make your problem worse. It might also answer a quite common question, “Why can’t I cum in the morning?” The reason might be that you are not mentally ready to have sex yet.

How to Fix It

Mental health issues are serious illnesses, and they require clinical treatment. There is a need to visit a doctor. Depending on the level of your mental health issue, you can be ordered to go for counseling or get medication. Whatever the treatment that is prescribed to you, once you are back to full health, your orgasming days will be back.

Inadequate Stimulation

Sometimes the reason why you are not orgasming might be a lack of stimulation. If you do not receive enough stimulation during sex, chances are an orgasm is not coming your way. Sexual climax or cumming is a result of the stimulation. When stimulation is at its peak, you will cum. If the main reason for your failure to peak during sex is lack of stimulation, there are hundreds of ways to fix it. We will give you a rundown.

How to Fix It

Stimulation is pretty easy. The good thing about sex is you know exactly what turns you on. Try to do just that, and if you have a partner, be sure to communicate with them and tell them exactly what you want. If that does not work, try to be a little adventurous. There are dozens of sex toys out there. Find one that does the deeds for you, and we can guarantee that you will cum. It is also important to watch a bit of porn. Porn is the ultimate stimulation tool, and you will definitely cum more.


Well, yes, the main cause of orgasmic dysfunction in women is usually aging. As you grow older, chances are you are going to struggle to reach the peak of sexual pleasure. It can be attributed to hormonal imbalances that come with age. The sad part about this, though, is that you cannot be certain when age starts to affect your ability to orgasm; it differs from one person to the next. The good thing is that if it’s an age that is restricting you from cumming, it can be fixed, and we know just how.

How to Fix it

There are several treatment options for orgasmic dysfunction due to old age. Estrogen hormone therapy is the best treatment for orgasmic dysfunction as a result of old age. The good news is the therapy has proven to be quite effective. Hormone therapy will raise sexual interest and ensure that your genitals are more sensitive. If you feel a little old and rusty, it is the solution to get you back the orgasms you have been missing.

Why Can’t I Cum: For Men

Impaired ejaculation in men is a huge problem. There are quite several problems that cause this. In most cases, it is not because your partner isn’t sexy enough.

Alcohol Abuse

It is one thing that most men can’t admit. It might be the source of their bedroom problems, and science has already proved that alcohol impairs your sexual performance. Having too much alcohol content in your body may make it difficult for you to reach a sexual climax. It is not only alcohol but a cocktail of other drugs that can have this effect on you. It might be the reason why you can’t cum during blowjobs and other forms of sex.

How to Fix It

It is quite simple to fix. Try to stay away from alcohol entirely. It might be difficult, but trying to reduce the amount of alcohol you consume will help you cum. It is especially important to avoid drinking, especially if you are planning to have sex. Besides the climax, chances are if you are sober, you will have a stronger erection, and you will feel and enjoy everything that will happen in between the sheets.

Aging and Medical Conditions

If you have certain medical problems, chances are they might result in you failing to cum during sex. Conditions like stroke and diabetes will increase your chances of developing impaired ejaculation. Already having a medical condition and getting impaired ejaculation added to the mix might be hard to take. Most people end up suffering from mental health issues. Also, aging is another factor that contributes to men not cumming during sex or self-pleasure.

How to Fix It

The best way to deal with impaired ejaculation if you have an underlying medical condition is by visiting a sex health expert. They will most likely prescribe the best medicine for you. If the main cause is aging, it is a good idea to get some viagra. If that does not work, it is a better idea to visit a physician and get prescription medication.


What masturbation does is it implants an imaginary idea of sex into your head. We have highlighted that sex is as much mental as it is physical. That is why it might be the reason why you don’t cum when having sex. It means if you end up not getting what you want from masturbation, chances are you will not cum. It is quite common for people who practice pressure and speed-intensive style of masturbation that is not possible to replicate during sex. Most people hate to admit it, but your problem might be literally in your hands.

How to Fix It

Slowing down on porn and masturbation will do your sex game a lot of good. Try to reduce your masturbation frequency to less than three times a week. It is also important to lower your expectations during sex.

There is no reason to have sex and not climax. Get it fixed and enjoy sex!

April Sattler

Author: April Sattler

April has always been interested in two things: psychology and sex. So she decided to combine her two passions and now April provides help and advice to those seeking to improve their relationships and sexual life.

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