If you like it sweet, slow, and gentle, you need to read this because we are about to change your preference. If you are adventurous, and you want to sex to be exciting, it is the guide for you too. There seems to be a bit of misconception on what rough sex is. It is one of the reasons why some people are a bit skeptical about the whole rough sex experience.
If you didn’t have a flicker of interest in the rough sex scene, then we are about to change your mind. Here is the background on rough sex and how to do it right. Are you ready to tread the realms of extreme sexual pleasure? Here we go!
What Is Rough Sex?
The first thing, though, we have to make clear is that not all forms of BDSM are rough sex. It seems to be the biggest rough sex misconception. Rough sex is defined by Lola Jean, a sex educator who also happens to be one of the people in high echelons when it comes to Dominatrix, as any sexual interaction that is physically aggressive or dangerous. The definition is broad and quite subjective, so whatever is dangerous and physically aggressive to you during sex, that is your rough sex.
The best part about rough sex, though, is that it is completely normal. There are millions of people that like to participate and advocate for rough sex. There is no need to feel weird about your affection for the “grimmer” side of sex. The best you can do is enjoy it, and we are going to show you just how.
How to Have Rough Sex
The range of rough sex is quite broad. It can be just a light slap or straight up choking and flogging. The good thing, though, is that regardless of how high you are willing to turn the notch, it’s still bound to be different from normal sex. The fact that rough sex is different gives it a certain edge. As highlighted by one of the veterans of the porn industry, Dana Vespoli, rough sex is different. How do you do it right? Well, here are some tips that will make your rough sex experience smooth.
Consent is Everything
The first step, when it comes to executing rough sex perfectly, is getting consent from your partner or partners. Rough sex is a mutual act, and there is a need to make sure that the people you want to engage in rough sex with are willing to engage. It might be a bit scary if you have a partner that’s a bit conservative about sex. It is better to be turned down than to “surprise” your partner with rough sex. Trust us on this one. If you want to know how to initiate rough sex, here is how you can do it.
If you want to know how to initiate rough sex, here is how you can do it. The best way to talk about rough sex is usually after sex. During this period, most people are pretty relaxed and will likely think about it more clearly. If you are a bit shy to bring it up, you can always try to pick their mind on the matter. Do not raise the issue directly to them rather talk about rough sex casually and try to pick out their opinions on the issue. If they are unwilling to participate, and if you feel it’s important to you, you can always find someone willing to go down that road (there are millions out there).
Know Exactly What You Want to Do
We have already highlighted how broad rough sex is, and just asking for rough sex for your partner is not a good idea. You must be sure of what you want to try during “rough sex”. It is why it is important to take some time and find out what you want to get out of the experience.
Do you want just a bit of choking and spanking? Or do you want the full Fifty Shades of Grey final scene BDSM experience? Once you are sure of the limits you want to reach, talk to your partner and hear them out. If they are willing to go with you all the way, then you are good to go. If they have concerns about what you want to try out, you have to explain and assure them.
Communication before starting on rough sex is important. You do not want your partner stopping you midway because you went a bit too far. Most people don’t know how to rough sex up, and it is important to walk them through. It is also essential to ask your partner what they want out of the experience. You might be surprised that they are freakier than you, and they might know exactly how to give rough sex.
Start from The Bottom Up!
One thing that turns people off during rough sex is that they are rarely given time to adjust to the experience. It will result in the experience coming off as painful, if not borderline weird. Make sure you start slow with a bit of tongue biting and pinching and maybe a bit of groping. It is very important because it allows you to see your partner’s reaction and whether they are enjoying it or not.
If their reaction is positive, go on with a bit of slapping. Slapping can go both ways. It turns everyone on. Even if you’re the submissive partner, you can slap too. Then, it is the perfect moment to introduce some hair pulling. Women love hair pulling during rough sex, but on its own, it won’t suffice. You might need to complement it with some deep strokes to get the right reaction.
There are several other acts that you can start around with, especially if one of you or both of you are new to this rough sex adventure. One of the most common and pretty intense easy acts includes spanking and choking. The way pain and pleasure go together are unmatched, and a combination of these two acts will certainly get both you and your partner “high”. There is also scratching. It, though, requires you to have clean nails and restraint. The last thing you would want is your partner, getting out of the rough session with blood all over.
Turn It Up!
If you and your partner try out rough sex, and you both like it, then there is every reason to turn up the notch. Taking rough sex up a notch will require you to dab into a bit of BDSM. BDSM involves bondage, spanking, caning, and an assortment of other amazing rough sex acts. If you are a BDSM beginner, don’t worry, there are several BDSM guides available.
One thing you certainly have to try if you decide to go down this part is bondage. With the best BDSM ropes, restraint may be the best thing you and your partner ever experience. Ever heard of pegging? How about bondage pegging? Well, these are certain acts you have to try out.
It is important, very important! One thing that can dampen any sex experience, especially rough sex, is silence. Dirty talk will make any rough sex experience premium. There is bound to be a bit of nervousness, especially if you are a beginner. Dirty talk will break that barrier down easily, and that is why you need to master it. You have to talk during rough sex, and you have to talk dirty.
The best part about dirty talk is there is no concrete constitution on what is dirty talk and what is not. If you and your partner feel it is dirty and will make the sex better, shout it out. If you are into BDSM, though, you have to master the lingo. It will give you the full experience, and you deserve that.
Safety is Key
Turning up the notch is wonderful, but it is also essential to make sure that you keep safety measures in place. You need to know how to be rough during sex but still keep it safe. There is a need to use safe words. Whenever you and your partner feel that things might be getting out of hand, you should call out the safe words you agreed on.
Chances are you might get too excited during rough sex, and you will try to use toys that you are unfamiliar with. BDSM sex toys are great but can be quite dangerous if you are not sure how to use them. If you do not know how to use a sex toy, trying it out during rough sex is not a good idea. You do not want to end up in the emergency room after a bout of breathtaking rough sex. That would ruin your perspective on the act, and we do not want that. It is the answer to the questions on how to have great rough sex: safety is key!
The most important tip for anyone looking into getting to rough sex is knowing that you are doing it for yourself and your partner, so you have to enjoy it. Do not worry about what you have read or seen about rough sex before. Trust us porn rough sex is nothing close to the real thing. Just relax and unleash your rough edges.
Rough sex is for everyone to enjoy – there is no reason why you should not try it.