Sex has evolved over the years, and one aspect of sex that has become increasingly popular is BDSM. The main reason why BDSM has become somewhat inseparable from anything sexual is mainly the pleasure that comes with BDSM. If you are not accustomed to BDSM, it is the article for you. We will be giving the perfect beginner’s guide to BDSM, and we can guarantee after this article, you will enjoy sex threefold.
What Is BDSM?
BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Submission, and Masochism. It is generally used to describe an edgy kind of sex that infuses pleasure and pain. The art of BDSM has been in existence for many years; it was popularized in recent times by the Fifty Shades series. If you have developed a keen interest in BDSM, there are certain BDSM basics for beginners you need to know.
BDSM for Beginners
The BDSM Misconception Checklist
BDSM is a broad subject, and many sub-sectors exist in this ocean of sexual pleasure. There are general rules, though, and information you need to know before you venture into BDSM to ensure your experience is seamless and pleasurable.
It Is Not Like Fifty Shades
The main misconception that people have when it comes to BDSM is the idea that the Fifty Shades Grey series is a true reflection of BDSM. Although certain aspects are somewhat true, most of the portrayals do not exist in the BDSM world. In BDSM circles, the series is considered cringe and referring to it when around BDSM lovers might get you the wrong kind of attention. It means that if you ever decide to go to a “dungeon”, things will most likely be a lot different from the screen portrayal. Do not worry if things seem a little different.
It Is Not Always About Penetrative Sex
As previously alluded to, BDSM is a broad concept. There is a strong misconception that BDSM is all about sex. Well, to break it to you, it is not. BDSM does not always involve sex, especially penetrative sex. Some BDSM sessions might entirely work on other body parts that are not genitals and still deliver pleasure. It is one of the elements that make BDSM lovable. There are thousands of scenes, and you can tailor your own. If you are not a fan of penetrative sex, you can trust BDSM to give you a pleasurable experience regardless of your views on penetrative sex.
It Is Not Dangerous
Another thing that seems to run into people’s minds when they hear about BDSM is danger. One thing that most BDSM dungeons are conscious of is safety. BDSM-related accidents are rare, and it is mainly because both BDSM participants and service providers tend to be very strict when it comes to safety regulations.
Even if you decide to go solo in the BDSM arena and get the tools from licensed and legit retailers, there is almost no chance of getting hurt. BDSM merchandise developers are also big on safety and tend to be very cautious about the toys they produce. If you are worried about getting hurt in the BDSM circle, we can assure you that the pain you will get is what you have asked for.
Your Mental Health Is Safe
One misconception that we have to address is the perceived link between BDSM and mental health problems. It is far away from the truth. Most psychologists have regarded BDSM as a healing tool for mentally broken people. BDSM allows you to explore and, in the process, makes you connect with your inner self. If you feel an urge to try out BDSM, it does not mean that you are on a mental down roll.
Now that these misconceptions are out of the way, we can get into the exciting stuff. The BDSM movement, which has taken the sex scene by storm, is broad, and you need to be well versed to ensure that you enjoy it. For BDSM to be as glorious as it should be, you will need to do the following.
BDSM Beginner’s Guide
Know the Vocabulary
The most essential thing when it comes to BDSM is the wording, especially if you plan to tag along with people that are well accustomed to the language that works in the BDSM circles. Knowing the vocabulary will help you understand the entire phenomenon that is BDSM. There are words like chastity, which are essential in the BDSM practice. Chastity is when a partner is denied the chance to have sex or masturbate. Devices are employed to achieve this, and certain devices like cock cages are some of the most common ones.
Top, bottom, and safewords are some of the words you have to know before engaging in BDSM. There are dozens of BDSM dictionaries that are up online. You should take a look at them before engaging in the art.
Start Slow
We have to emphasize that BDSM is broad. Chances are, it will take you quite a while to understand most of the things that happen in BDSM circles. The best way to learn how things work in the BDSM arena is to start with the small tools. There are toys like nipple clamps and whips, which are some of the best BDSM sex toys. These will help you adapt easily as you progress to more complex instruments and scenes. You must get expert advice first before experimenting with new complex sex toys and other apparel.
More complex scenes will also require expertise. Start with the simpler scenes, and with time, you will master the more complex ones.
Plan
One thing that people tend to overlook, especially when they are still starting, is planning. Scenes in BDSM require a lot of planning: it will ensure that the experience will not come out as a lackluster practice or, worse, result in injuries. Be sure to plan everything that you want to incorporate into the BDSM session beforehand. It will allow you to get the right tools and people to go about it with.
When starting, you might struggle to plan scenes. Many websites offer pre-planned scenes to make it easy and, well, really enjoyable. For a better experience, you can hook up with some BDSM porn to try and find out how it goes down. One thing that is important to note, though, when it comes to porn, is understanding that it is not real, and you do not need to be as good as them. Do not pressure yourself!
Avoid Enhancers
Sex enhancement drugs are ok if they are prescribed. Do not use sex enhancement drugs in your BDSM endeavors. It is especially important when you are starting your journey. Some BDSM scenes might be physically demanding, and going into them under the influence might result in injuries or other health complications.
It also applies to alcohol and other drugs. It is never a good idea to try something new when under the influence. Be sure that you are sober when you go through your BDSM scenes. It will ensure that you enjoy them even more. If you are on medication, and you feel that the scene you want to go through might affect your health, you must consult your physician first.
Try Out Orgasm Control
The main aim behind BDSM is to ensure that you have a great sexual experience. There is absolutely nothing as sexy as an orgasm. There is a technique that is practiced in BDSM called orgasm control. If you are a beginner, it is the one thing you have to try. If you try orgasm control, we can assure you that you will never look back ever again.
Orgasm control is usually done by males: you get close to orgasm, and you abruptly stop. In BDSM circles, it is more appealing because tools like cock cages and nipple clamps are thrown into the mix. The final orgasm is quite explosive and will be satisfying for both you and your partner.
Get and Give Consent
The BDSM experience is hinged on consent. If you are going to incorporate partners in your scene, you have to make sure they have consented to the acts. If the partners do not get their consent, you might end up getting into some legal trouble. If you want to proceed with something you did not agree on before the scene, it is also essential, first of all, to ask for consent. Do not get lost in the moment – you will regret it, and it will dampen your BDSM experience.
Your consent is also essential. If your BDSM partners go a bit overboard and try to do something you did not consent to, you have every right to stop them, and if the need is, take legal recourse.
BDSM is all about the pleasures your body can offer and sexual exploration. Sex avails those pleasures, BDSM on the other hand, amplifies them. If you have not tried getting into BDSM yet, you need to give it a go as soon as possible, and this ‘how to get into BDSM’ guide will ensure your debut is flawless.
