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How to Dirty Talk During Sex

One of the most horrifying on this planet has to be dead silent sex. If you think sex cannot be terrible, then you haven’t been in bed with someone who is dead quiet during the deed. It borders between scary and extra weird. We cannot overestimate the power of the tongue, well, the vocal power that is of the tongue during sex, and that is why we are taking an in-depth look into how to talk dirty during sex and how to do it perfectly well. Are you ready to make sex a lot more amazing? We know you are, and here we go.

Why Talk Dirty

Before we go down the slippery road of the dirty talk, we have to first explain just why it is important to incorporate the practice in your sex life. Most people overlook the practice and mostly associate it with adult movies rather than the actual bedroom. Well, that is a fatal error, because there is no place where dirty talk is better than a regular bedroom. Why does it? Why invest and practice ”talking” during sex? The first thing we have to make very clear is that dirty talk is not just talking – it is way more than that.

What is Dirty Talk?

What constitutes dirty talk? Well, the borders for dirty talk might be way broader than you think. Several things come to mind when it comes to dirty talk; most people just see cuss words. Defining dirty talk as merely spitting cuss words is wrong, to say the least. Dirty talk can be loosely defined as talking in a way that will arouse you or your partner during sexual intercourse. There is no limit to what you can say during the dirty talk. As long as it arouses you and your partner, you are certainly practicing the dirty talk.

Why Do It?

Now that we have defined dirty talk, the next step is to understand just why you should do it. There are two main reasons for it.

To Arouse Your Partner

Arousal is the secret to any sexual flare. The more aroused you are, the more likely you are to enjoy the sex session. Dirty talk is the most potent way to reach your inner sexual self and that of your partners. If done right, dirty talk can make someone climax (quite common in the BDSM community). We have for a while alluded to just how metal sex is. Sex is more mental than it is physical. There is nothing that speaks to the mind during sex as dirty talk does.

To Boost Confidence

There is something that being naked with someone else does to most people. It tends to drag a flicker of confidence and, in the worst-case scenario, can result in nervous breakdowns. Do you know what can help boost confidence during sex? It is dirty talk! Telling your partner that you are aggressively enjoying the sex session can result in a rush of blood up to their head and give them a whole rush of confidence. If your partner is a little shy during sex, dirty talk might be the missing ingredients. It is one of the best tips on how to have better sex.

How to Dirty Talk

The main secret behind dirty talk confidence. And now that we have given you some reasons why you should do it, we will teach you just how to do it right. Most people tend to look at a talk at face value, but it is quite a complex bedroom art, and there is a need to treat it as such. What should you need during the dirty talk? We have a comprehensive Dos and Don’ts guide to dirty talk to ensure that you will enjoy the experience and have an explosive orgasm. Here it is.


If you want to talk dirty during sex this is just how you do it.

Get Consent

It might come off as a surprise to most people, but just like penetration, consent is important for dirty talk to continue seamlessly during sex. Some people tend to be turned off or feels harassed by dirty talk (we don’t know why), and it is important to make sure that before you decide to go down the vocal sex lubrication train, you get permission first. How do you ask for permission to talk dirty during sex? It is quite simple. Just try to quick out their views on the practice. If they seem comfortable with the activities, you can go on and start slow.

Alternatively, you can directly ask how they feel about dirty talk. If they say no, you can always try to give the reasons that we gave you. Chances are it will convince them. If it does not, you are better off finding someone that shares the same interests as you.

Find Comfort with Your Partner

The secret to making dirty talk to words is finding comfort with your partner. Calling out “more” or “fuck me” can come off as a bit uncomfortable. It might come off as weird. The best way to avoid it is to ensure that before getting the dirty talk on the road, you get comfortable with your partner. Try to ease into the dirty talk by starting with compliments and then go deeper with rather more intimate comments that talk about the nipples. It will get you that cloud of comfort and allow you to proceed into the deeper stuff quite easily.

Know What to Say

Certain dirty phrases have stood the test of time, and we will share them with you. The main question most of you probably have is what exactly you should say. Here are some of the best dirty talk phrases that will work perfectly for you:

Pre-Sex Dirty Talk

Before the sex happens, certain phrases will help build up anticipation and get your partner in the mood for breathtaking sex. One pre-sex phrase that is unmatched, is “I am wet“, or “I am hard“. No statement comes close to this one, and even if it’s not true, it will set up the road to explosive orgasms. Some other best dirty talk phrases include “I want your d*ck in my p*ssy“, “I’m dripping wet“, “I want to f*ck you mindless“.

What to Say During Sex

“F*ck me“, “give it all to me“, “give me that cock“ and “grab my ass“ are some of the most popular dirty talk phrases during sex. These phrases seem to be present in most bedrooms, and the reason for it is that it works. The good thing about dirty talk, especially during sex, is that there are no limits to what you can say. If you want to scream baloney, trust us, you can do that. It might come off as weird from your partner, but the goal is to make the sex session as vocal as possible. It is also important to consistently check your partner’s facial response to see whether they like the talk. Alternatively, you can ask how they are enjoying the act.

After sex, be sure to compliment your partner. Tell them how wonderful the sex session was. There is no better compliment than, “do you want to go and do that again?“ Post-sex dirty talk is equally as important as the other two. Skipping it might give your partner the impression that you did not enjoy the sex session.


There are certain things that you should try to avoid if you plan on your dirty talk session being exciting.

Do Not Take It Too Seriously

One thing that makes sex amazing is the freedom that comes with it. Being naked, touching your partner all over, and being able to say absolutely anything you want. It makes the whole experience lekker and liberating. There are no specifics about this dirty talk act; you can tailor it to fit your specific needs. Taking the act a bit too seriously and being less rigid will take away the fun from both you and your partner. Try to be as free as you can, and there is no standard that you have to meet. As long as you and your partner are happy – the deed is successful. Be free, be explorative, and always be prepared to say and get new things said to you.

Do Not Body Shame

As you go through the sex session, you might be so in the moment that you won’t be thinking straight. In this rush, you might utter words that are, let’s just say, insensitive. Words like fat, ugly, and short might come out without the intention of hurting your partner’s feelings, but that might not be the case with your partner. It is essential to understand that dirty talk should not include phrases that demean your partner. That is the wrong idea of dirty talk. Make sure that as edgy as your dirty talk is, it does not transcend the line and become insensitive. Do not body shame.

April Sattler

Author: April Sattler

April has always been interested in two things: psychology and sex. So she decided to combine her two passions and now April provides help and advice to those seeking to improve their relationships and sexual life.

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